Oliver Didn’t Know He Could Trust Us

Oliver was released from prison after serving 20 years. 

He was wrongfully convicted of theft in the 90s. 

Every day he came into the shelter needing help. 

Every day we would give him resources to help get him on his feet. 

Every day we would watch him throw the pamphlets in the trash as he would leave. 

One day, Janet refused to answer his questions and walked away frustrated. 

"What's wrong?" I asked her

“If I offer to help him and he doesn’t take it,” Janet said, “why should I continue to help him."

In Oliver’s situation, he put trust into the justice system that failed him for over 20 years. 

Cognitive and affective trust:

There are two related terms in social psychology: 

• Cognitive trust: trust based on our knowledge and evidence about those we chose to trust. You build cognitive trust through actions.

• Affective trust: feelings of security and how trustworthy the other's intentions are. You build affective trust with empathy and genuine feelings of concern and care.

Whether a person can trust you depends on their reality. When trust breaks, it is hard to repair it. 

Oliver’s experiences led him to believe adults couldn’t be trustworthy. 

When we recognize where others come from, it allows us to help them from a better place.

Naturally, as humans, we get frustrated when people don’t act the way we want them to. 

Oliver needed our help, but he didn’t trust that we were there to help him.

If we meet others where they are, then we are able to develop trust over time. Once you build trust, we can improve the well-being of our patrons.

(It took about a year, but Janet earned his trust and now she's the only one he'll go to!)

Thanks!